How can I recover from this?

Socially I am crippled. I have not had a real friend since the fifth grade. When I came to middle school my friends moved or did not come to the same school. I was left to fend for myself in an increasingly hostile environment. I was teased to no end for various things the most notable among them was for being gay. Now, at this point, I scarcely knew what the word meant, I knew only that it was disgusting, wrong and against God. This teasing lead me to hate gays more than the devil himself. I blamed them for my torment. By the eighth grade I was beaten into a state of submission. I had been beaten up physically several times and mentally everyday. I told my parents little of this as early on they proved to hurt more than help. I learned that it was not okay to be myself and the hardships that came with trying. In the long run I was on my own and the one thing that I wished for more than anything was to be invisible.Upon entering high school, I became adept at just that. I stayed in IB/AP cles and kept to myself. I haven't been teased since. I haven't had a friend since either. I am completely alone with the exception of my family. I love them all dearly but at the end of the day I am always sorely reminded that one day they will disown me. This is because my sopre year I found out that all of those cruel children had been right. I realized that I was gay. I didn't come to this conclusion easily either. I would find myself feeling things for boys that I was quite sure I was not supposed to feel. I then set out on a campaign of trying to stare at girls, trying to become infatuated with one. It was to no avail. I hated myself for feeling the way I did. It was like my life had been turned upside down, like I was the evil that I had despised for so long. The worst part was that I could tell no one my condition, I had no one to talk to. At present, I am a senior and nothing has changed. I have never been to a party, done drugs, been drunk, had or even kissed. Not that I really care (or even remotely desire experiencing some of the above) but that is the image commonly portrayed of the modern teenager is it not? I am coming to a point where I simply can't take being alone anymore. I want a real relationship, I want real friends yet I don't feel like I even know myself well enough anymore to try and get them. Not to mention everyone still ignores me as if I am not there. I really just wish that somebody cared. The fact is that I put myself in this position out of fear and now I don't know what to do or where to start.